In my last post, I talked about stoic philosophy and how I’ve been trying to apply its core tenets to my daily life. But if I’m being honest, I fail at this about 90% of the time. My behavior is often reactive, self-centered, and caught up in the bubble of my own frustrations. I make a lot of mistakes.
What’s become important to me is not so much avoiding mistakes—because I know they’re inevitable—but getting better at apologizing when I do. Every moment I spend holding back an apology is time wasted. It’s time I could be using to reconnect with the people I care about and to enjoy the moments we have together.
A good apology, in my experience, is sincere, thorough, timely, and involves listening—truly listening—to the other person’s point of view and feelings. Writing that out makes it seem simple, but in practice, it’s tough to get it right consistently.
This focus on improving my apologies has made me more aware of how others handle theirs, both in real life and fiction. I’ve started noticing who’s good at it and who isn’t. One character that’s stood out to me recently is Coach Eric Taylor from the TV show Friday Night Lights. I wasn’t familiar with the show until Netflix insisted I watch it—and I’m glad I did. It’s a fantastic series, with a devoted following for good reason.
Coach Taylor, one of the show’s central characters, is a father, husband, mentor, and friend, and his role as a high school football coach in Texas puts him under constant pressure. Naturally, this leads him to make plenty of mistakes, which gives him ample opportunities to apologize.
What strikes me about his apologies is that they’re always sincere and thorough, even if sometimes he takes a bit longer than he should to offer them. But when he does apologize, he takes his time, listens to the other person, and acknowledges their perspective. Whether apologizing to his daughter, Julie, or to his player, Tim Riggins, Coach Taylor shows that a good apology isn’t just about admitting fault—it’s about restoring trust. I’ve included links to two of his apologies, one to Julie and one to Rig, so you can see how he handles these moments with humility and earnestness.
For me, getting better at apologizing is crucial because it’s about reclaiming time. Pride, discomfort, or embarrassment—whatever holds me back from saying "I'm sorry"—just isn’t worth it. The older I get, the more I realize that time is our most precious resource. And when you're living with a life-altering diagnosis, that reality hits even harder. None of us know how much time we truly have left to enjoy being with and make things right with the people who matter most.
So, if you haven’t watched Friday Night Lights, I’d recommend it. But whether or not you watch the show, consider this: Apologizing well isn’t about being perfect. It’s about making the most of the time you have by keeping your relationships strong.
Nick
Comments